Blog Feed – Page 23 – Reading Responses at 2am

The Paper Magician by Charlie N. Holmberg, The Paper Magician #1

July 21, 2019 – July 23, 2019

Wow! I had a bunch of people telling me that I should read this book because they thought I would like it. I finally got it from the library like, two years later, then it just sort of sat next my bed for three weeks. Then two days ago I though I would give it a try, and I actually really liked it! And it wasn’t just for the cute crushy romance.

The things they talked about, the four things that make up your heart and what would be in them made me stop and think. What WOULD be in each chamber in mine? Sounds like good material for a book club discussion… and now I have my three books for book club next year!

I wasn’t thrilled when I started reading this. I saw a lot of little things that they always say not to do and that I superly try to watch out for. It gave an amateur feeling in my head – because I’m apparently super judgmental now and have refined tastes?!? Or maybe I’ve just been reading too many things by super established authors (apparently “super” is my word of choice today.)

Anyway, I kept going because I was intrigued by the idea and the writing wasn’t actually bad and maybe this was just a writing style that I wasn’t used to. But if I was honest, I kept reading because everyone said I would like it, and I was interested to find out why.

Things got a lot better when he got his heart ripped out (I love that I got to write that sentence :P). The other stuff was really important explanation of how the magic system worked (I don’t know why I complained, she did a really good job getting all that out without it feeling like a random info dump) and I smiled at Ceony’s budding crush on Emery and his quirky ways.

But then I felt like everything kicked into gear, like I said, when crazy lady showed up and ripped his heart out and Ceony spazed and ran off to save him.

Then it got REALLY interesting very quickly, and if there was any other “ amateurish” writing quirks I didn’t notice them, I was caught up in the story that well.

I felt sick through most of the first chamber – no one wants to see their boyfriend’s ex’s, and this was that on steroids (FYI I figured out how to fix all my spelling problems- just uses the voice option for the key board!). It was awesome, though, when we got to watched when he first saw her.

Then the second chamber was warm and fuzzy as well – then things got dark real fast. It was bad, but then when he attacked her it caught me off guard, and I saw no way out and got that horrible helpless feeling. But then she did, and she saved him.

I loved how she defeated Lira. It’s my favorite when they uses something that has been a part of the whole novel but used it in a way I wasn’t expecting that then saved the day! It feels clever and real.

Then the ending – and I couldn’t stop reading, not then, not when he was about to wake up and we were going to see how he felt about her now! Ok, so I knew it was going to end well, but I didn’t know how! What would he say?!?

And I was happy.

The thing that was the funniest part of reading this was when – I think it was the third chamber – that I was suddenly hit that the title wasn’t talking about Ceony, but about Emery, and that it wasn’t so much about magic origami as it was about HIM. Not magic, but what made up this man, the man called The Paper Magician. That was the moment that took this from a romance set in a fun magic system world and turned it into something real that suddenly existed in mine, like characters crawling out of a TV set.

Now I need to get the next one, but this one was clearly a stand alone novel so I have no idea what the next one is going to be, but the author has won my trust enough that I’ll keep going.

Update:

Just had a thought. I mentioned above that this was clearly a stand alone book so I didn’t know what the next one will be about. But then those very important words came back to me from the 10th anniversary printing of the Elantris preface or whatever it was – to imperial it! Having buddy dude in trouble and his life on the line is nice, but it isn’t the end of the world. Then I remembered how they said that why Lira targeted him was to stop him hunting them, that they are destroying society. I mean, we know he has some pretty mad paper skillz so I’m fully expecting to see them at some point now. And let’s not forget that at the end she kind of did paper AND blood magic and Emery even said he had no idea what she did, so that means we gotta find out! So yeah, obviously there is going to be more!

White Sand, Volume 1 by Brandon Sanderson, White Sand #1

September 2, 2019 – September 3, 2019

Ok, have I fallen through a hole in the fabric of reality? Because I just gave a Brandon Sanderson book three stars. Am I going to get my membership in the Sanderson cult revoked?

In making my way through all of Sandersontopia I had to, of course, stop off at these graphic novels. They are in the Cosmere (so it’s required reading) and like all his books I was curious and excited to see the new magic system – because he is the KING of magic systems.

And the magic system and plot were really good and interesting – I just didn’t jive with the graphic novel-ness of it. I’ve read graphic novels in the past, but I guess maybe it didn’t work because I’m used to so much more from his books that you just can’t get across in this media? Maybe?

It also felt really jumpy. One minute old crazy lady is being all in his face looking like her skin is about to split and a demon would pop out, and then a few panels later she’s just chill’n with him and they are chatting away like she didn’t almost look like she was going to peel off his skin with her fingernails.

Blaaaa of course I’m going to read number 2 (required reading remember?) and I’ll keep having an open mind. I just wish these were text novels instead!

The Autumn Republic by Brian McClellan, Powder Mage #3

September 2, 2019 – September 7, 2019

I feel… unfulfilled.

First, things that I liked.

I was excited because about a fourth of the way into this book I realized that the two parallel plotlines of the junk Lord V was doing and all the junk on the battlefield were going to collide and I couldn’t wait to see how it was done! And then when it was, and you found out about Lord C being a god (which I called several chapters before it was revealed btw – because I’m awesome like that 😛 ) it really did feel like everything up to that point was building toward the big “I’m going to take over the world! MUAHAHAHA!!!” plot point. It just all made sense and I enjoyed riding the wave.

I did have some thoughts though – Lord C said at the end that they weren’t actually gods but just super powerful Privileges, and it made me think about Nila and Ka-Pole. Both of them can do stuff without gloves, just like the gods could. No one else, not even those Pratttiiii guys could. What did that mean for them and who they could become?

Tamas’s death made me chock up. I knew that he was going to die from book one, but that it wouldn’t be random but at the end of the trilogy and in the act of saving the world – because stories like this need heroes like that, and he was that kind of a hero. I don’t know what killed me more, when he said goodbye to Taneil or when Ardo was weeping over him. Even thinking about those two scenes makes my nose hurt in that way it does when your body thinks about crying.

I was proud of Tamas when in the last book he figured out how much he cared about Taneil. I’m glad that the author didn’t just have him run up and hug him when they found Taneil (not like I thought he would, this guy clearly knows what he’s doing), but instead had them have their awkward father/son/I-Don’t-Know-How-To-Express-My-Emotions guy thing with the two of them by the river. It felt real, not in the jerky way that books try and be, but in the good way that makes you want to hope for the world to be a better place because of how this scene played out.

Now for girl power! Nila’s training was amazing, and she’s AMAZING! At the end of the last book she had just found out that she had powers, and then you got to see her increase in confidence and amazingness all the way from her first kill to her showdown with evil Privilege chick (by the way, when Bo said “Burn” it made me catch my breath and squeal and say “shutupI’mwatchingthis!!!” all at the same time). There are so many parts that I will remember – like when she melted her hand through that assassin’s skull, when she exploded (hahahaha) at the Kez army because she couldn’t stand being so useless (oh my gosh this scene is my realized fantasy, that I would somehow be able to get all the energy and power stuck inside me to release in a sudden controlled burst that saves the day), and then there were all the scenes with Bo….

Oh Bo. I was right, we were going to see that he was someone to fall in love with. His backstory was sweet (ok that’s the wrong word), but it was his dynamic with Nila that really made me love him, along with how he made me laugh and cringe and be amazed at what he was able to inspire in Nila. When she was running for her life and he appeared out of the fog and yelled at her that she was a goddess of fire not to be frightened away by ants, it made me feel like I could do anything.

Continuing with that scene, I looovvveeedd that he brought a pistol to kill that magebreaker! It was one of my favorite scenes in the whole book. After it happened it was so obvious that that was what all the Privilege should have done when going up against a magebreaker, but he was the one who thought of it, because he’s Bo, and it made me smile when you saw that he was the one who shot jerk-guy.

I also loved all the scenes where Nila slapped/yelled at/kicked/or otherwise asserted herself in the relationship. From everything you learned about Bo, he didn’t care about anyone other than Taneil, but then you see him caring about her over and over again, and these scenes where he lets himself be pushed around (come on, if it was anyone but her he would have turned them inside out) are weirdly intimate. Not in a sexy way, but in a cutting-through-a-heart way, but not emo. That was Taneil’s job in the last book. 😛

Ok, but all that warm fuzzy stuff aside, if Taneil and Pole were the star couple in the last book, Bo and Nila were in this one – AND THEN NOTHING HAPPENED! So many things… How he confessed to Taneil that he cared about her too much to treat her like other women, how she slapped him, and then he took care of her, and she fell asleep on his chest (without him sleeping with her! And supposedly he was dealing with his Privilege crazy hormones and he managed not to try anything all night), and Ka-Pole giving her that knowing look when they rode into camp, and then her exploding with jealousy when he was kissing that other Privilege, and then when he blabbed that he was planning on sleeping with her someday – and then nothing!

I kept going over different scenarios in my head, like that Bo saw her and made out with that jerk lady because he was trying to protect her and knew she would stomp off, or of her making different conditions for him to prove that he really did love her, or her yelling at him when he tried to kiss her that she wasn’t going to just be another one of his women – it doesn’t matter. Because none of it happened. Maybe my fanfic brain would be more activated if there was soommmeee continuation of all the stuff listed above, but the last time you saw anything was that part in the hills and fog when he rode out to save/help her when he was totally not healed yet. Sure there was also that last scene of the two of them waiting and Nila said she should just leave and he says he would miss her and she rolls her eyes and he insisted that he would, but that wasn’t worth very much in this regard.

When I blabbed at Amit about them getting together, he said that Bo loved Nila like a sister. I wanted to punch him and roll my eyes at him teasing me, but after the incident with the talking dog in Well of Ascension, I never know now if he actually IS joking! And now that it’s done, and nothing was even hinted at their relationship actually being real after all the weeks they spent together after the magebreaker incident when things could/should have grown and continued to escalate, I feel a pit in my stomach that maybe the only evidence that Bo did have feelings for her really were just in my head.

The other part of this book that left a bad taste in my mouth was Josep. Through the entire trilogy, he was there, as a motivating factor for Adamant. His finger was cut off, and Adamant went crazy. He was sold away, and there were a whole slew of scenes of Adamant trying to get him back, which ended with the end of the last book with Bo showing up and promising to get him back.

Then you find out that he had been made into a black warden – and I felt my heart sink into my stomach, all emotion being shut off. I wanted to shut the book – I was scared of what the author might do to me. But then I perked up and went “Ah! This is why all this stuff has been circling around him! Because it was necessary as a plot point to get to figuring out the whole warden situation! And Bo’s involved now!” Then Bo said he couldn’t undo it, but then I was like “Ah! But Nila is this other crazy type of Privilege now! So when the scene finally comes for him to be healed she’ll be the lynch pin to fixing all this!”

Then he just dies. Nothing big, just a random, almost off-screen way. And all that build-up for the last two and a half books just fizzled.

I had to take a break. It was like that one time I read this one book where the husband – who was the only person in the whole world who supported the main character – was injured, but they all manage to escape, and then he survived the whole three day ride to safety, just to drop dead! It was a complete build-up of hope only to be punched in the face and I DON’T LIKE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS.

It’s the stupidity of “life’s real get over it” that I want to just throw up all over. This wasn’t quite as bad as the end of Harry Potter where I felt like she just threw darts at a board of names to decide who died, but it still….. blaaaaa I’m such a baby. I need to just get over myself.

Ok, enough heavy – it was a REALLY good book and a REALLY good trilogy that I would shove into anyone’s hands. Despite my complaints, that scene at the end with Nila and Bo at the meeting was hilarious and their relationship, no matter what it is or isn’t, makes me happy. And even though Taneil and Pole are hardly mentioned in this response, I’m really happy for them. Having them sail off into the west and leave everyone and everything behind gave a peaceful feel to the end.

I just realized something. The epilogue was between Vlora and Taneil, which I thought was blaaa, probably because I was still hoping/looking for some sort of conclusion with Nila and Bo, but I realized now that it was the bookend to the trilogy. It began with the two of them (ok more with Taneil fuming about her), and now it ended with the two of them. I like it when books end this way.

I’m going to miss Tamas. I know it sounds like all I care about is the relationship stuff, but it really isn’t true. Like I’ve said before, I traditionally like the younger characters, the ones going through their right of passage/emotional relationship stuff – but I think he’s the first older character that I’ve ever really loved.

I feel hungover (not like I’ve ever actually been hungover). I have too many strong emotions going on inside me. And then in the epilogue was that a hint at more books to come?

Blaaaaaaa….. bright lights. I listened to Amit and didn’t finish the whole book last night, but still, it was a lot.

There are a billion short story things – but I think I’ll wait a bit. My head is spinning too much.

Update:

OMGG there is another trilogy after this one!!!!! Ok, I’m taking a break, and I shouldn’t get my hopes up – my issues with Bo and Nila are probably not even going to come up. Ahhhhh……. not fair…… I’m in agony all over again……….. I know these books will be awesome but blaaaaaa. I need these things to work out, I just do! I love them so much! It would be like Taniel and Pole not getting together!

And don’t think me shallow!!! I’m also totally into finding out more about the other nine nations! He created this whole freaking world so I expect to see more of it!

Update:
Ok, you know how I was all twitchy about Bo and Nila? Well, I did what any sane person would do, which is grab the 577 page book and a stack of post-it notes, and went through the entire book and marked every Bo and Nila scene looking for PROOF that they do have romantic feelings for each other! And guess what – I FOUND SOME!

Behold exhibit A, taken from page 65:
“‘And I have to do horrid things to survive in this world?’
‘You already have. And you will again.’
She remembered the sticky feeling of the blood between her fingers, and the way that assassin’s skull had melted beneath her hand as easily as warm wax. ‘That’s the second time in as many minutes you’ve told me what I’ll end up doing. Do you know me so well, Privileged Borbador?’
She felt the feather touch of Bo’s gloved fingers on her cheek and then he pulled away.”

HA! Brothers don’t gently touch their sister’s cheeks in the dark and then pull away!!! Or if they do then there is a whole different plot line here that I wasn’t expecting.

So take that universe! Fanfic brain is now activated!

The Crimson Campaign by Brian McClellan, Powder Mage #2

August 16, 2019 – August 21, 2019

Ok, I needed to read other books this week. Like, no joke. I had started Interesting Times because I thought it would be fun to read after Color of Magic since it had Rincewind and Twoflower teaming up again, but I just couldn’t keep my head around it. Then I’ve had White Sand for FOREVER and haven’t cracked it open yet, and it’s a graphic novel! Totally should be up there on getting done! And then, of course, I have book club next week and haven’t started the book yet…

But this book just sat there, staring at me. It was one of those situations where you try and read what you’re “supposed” to, until you cave and grab it and don’t come up for air for a few days.

OK! Who’s ready for a LONG response!?!?!

The thing that just kept punching me in the face with this book was how insanely idiotic war was back then! I mean, you get into lines, and then run at each other, and oh yeah, everyone in the front is going to get shot, and then you stab people a whole lot and yeah you’re probably going to die and blaaa blaaa blaaaa and then you run back and everyone yells “Pause!” like it’s a freaking game of tag! How could anyone stand hearing that they were going to be put in front!?? It would be like being told you were going to be executed!

I didn’t do this with the first book, but with this one I reached the point where I started doing that thing where I imagine what it would be like if I got sucked into the book and how I would handle it and how I would try and explain to them things about my society. I thought about trying to explain to them why kings and nobility are stupid and our awesome three branch form of government, but when I started going off I realized how freaking complicated it is. And then I would try and explain to them why their style of war is stupid, but then I didn’t really have a good response back because I honestly am so removed from the armed forces I really don’t know how we fight wars now, except it sure isn’t done in neat little lines!

How can you be brave when you are being ordered and asked to do something that you know will kill you? And in the end, your individual death probably won’t even matter?

Changing to happier topics, I hate feeling utterly and all-consumingly helpless. 😛 When Taniel was kicked out of the command tent and had no influential power anymore, and then when he was forced to apologize, I got a headache and had to take a break for a bit. Though it did get better when he punched that guy and got on the counter and started telling everyone the truth!

Weirdly enough, I didn’t feel that awful helplessness when he was tied up on that hook on the pole, or even during the entirety of Tamas’s escape. Maybe it’s because it wasn’t personal? Because I could see easier how it could work out? Because there wasn’t a face staring at you, daring you to argue that you still mattered as a human?

Oh wait, there was that god guy… And what was up with Taneil now being some sort of anti-god particle?! Oh yeah, I’m interested to see where THIS goes. No, seriously, I’m not being sarcastic! I really am interested/excited to see where it goes! And I totally called “H” dude being the traitor – like- as soon as he showed up on the scene. He just REEKED of it.

Continuing with weird things I actually wasn’t expecting, I ended up rrreeeeaaalllllyyyyy liking Bo. It was like he was a completely different person, only not in a “wow the author really is inconsistent” but just in a “wow he’s in a new situation that is bringing out all sorts of things in him I didn’t see in the last book.” He was heartless and cruel – but at the same time wasn’t….. Oh don’t get me wrong, I’m 100% convinced that he is completely capable of being a horrible uncaring person – I just, ug – I can’t really describe it. I just want to keep watching him and he was “that guy” that you kind of become desperate to see more of. His scenes with Nila and him ended up being the ones I kept watching out for for the rest of the book. Of course, that part of Marinda that likes people being attracted to each other happily wants them to end up together, but the other part of Marinda that is able to objectively look at people thinks that Bo is too weird – and that just shows how weird he is if I’m not 100% trying to ship him and prospective girl in my head already. But then maybe we’ll keep seeing sides of him we didn’t see before in the next book. The epilogue was in his perspective, so maybe we’ll have more of internal monologue proof that he has a soul later.

I’m proud of Nila for not only not giving in to fear and FREAKING KICKING “V” DUDE IN THE LEG, but also because she didn’t abandon Jackob. So many times she’s like “oh I could just go and live my life” – but she doesn’t. It’s not mushy and it keeps being done somewhat unwillingly, but he’s hers, even if she can’t explain it to herself. And then, of course, there is the HUGE fact that she is some sort of weird Privliage – so it makes me wonder if they are just conditioned into thinking that they need gloves until they can’t touch The Else (ooooo such a great ominous name) without them? Bo didn’t mention it outright, but he’s totally taking Nila with him to the front lines.

With Tamas, our favorite grisly old guy, my favorite part was when that stupid Privalige guy FREAKED OUT when he heard that Tamas was after him! Like, manic laugh out loud “someone’s going to lose a head! I hope there is LOTS of blood!” kind of laugh. (FYI I’m a very well adjusted individual – when not reading.) As for the rest, I admire the way he cared for and rallies his men, but I didn’t get moved by his speech. It didn’t rouse me like the speech in Independence Day (ok, bad comparison – NOTHING will ever compare to that speech – I actually rewatched it looking for the link and started tearing up) but maybe that’s the type of thing that gets soldiers who know they are probably not going to make it and who know they will suffer A LOT before the end need to hear to get themselves going. And then there is his stupid thing with Volva! He’s so ticked off at her and just keeps saying it is because she hurt his son, and yeah, that’s part of it, but from what I’ve picked up SHE WAS BASICALLY HIS FREAKING DAUGHTER! He’s made at her because he’s disappointed in her, independent of Taneil! I think in the end he was moving in that direction, but we’ll see if he doesn’t need someone to punch him in the face to get there.

Ok, here’s the part you’ve all been waiting for….. drum roll

We HAVE to Talk About Taniel and Pole!!!!!!!!

MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

As I told my husband when talking to him about their relationship in the last book, “SHE knew what was going on even if HE didn’t!” It was good though, he had a lot of junk to work through, so when they are in that tent together and he blurts out that all he wants is to protect her and she kisses him and you can just SEE and FEEL him shatter, the build-up made me want to cry from the perfection of it! Weirdly enough, when he actually says that he loves her and she says it back to him, yeah they were in the middle of being potentially slaughtered, it still felt kind of “oh yeah, nothing new there,” yet because it’s ME it still made me smile A LOT and reread fifteen times. The next little thing that meant so much to me was when god-dude killed chef-god-dude and there was that super-powerful light, and Taneil folded her into his arms as if to protect her. Ok, this is a girl who has shone why they call her a savage as she took knitting to the next level, and he KNOWS that, but he still has this need, and she still folds into him.

But on a more realistic point, are there ANY scenes of them just joking around and showing that they can have a relationship and feelings NOT when the world is ending and they are covered in blood and monsters are trying to kill them? Just asking, you know – for a friend.

To round off all this, I will be angry. I’m really angry about the people not protecting their city. Like, REALLY angry. But that is just the stupid side of me that doesn’t take into consideration what I would have done with a gun pressed against my head or the head of my children. I can’t wait for Tamas to get there and do some smackdown – with of course his TWO Monarchs (ok, one is just a prince) that will bring the weight of the entire universe down on them!!!!!

SO book three is waiting for me at the library………… ug……. I really do have to read that book club book!!!!!!!!!

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy #2

August 28, 2019 – September 1, 2019

Bahahaha! I forgot that it ended that way! I mean, I read it and then turned to the next chapter, but then there wasn’t another chapter! These books are so ridiculous.

I remember the first time I heard of them. My older brother was reading them and getting a kick out of it, so he started reading me random parts of them and they were so bizarre that I couldn’t help but laugh until I fell over.

Blaaa I kind of want to blab about my favorite part, and that would be when Marvin killed that one battle robot, just by making it feel bad for him. I need more scenes like that in my life. ;P

I’ve always been slightly disturbed by the talking cow, and just plain annoyed at the stupid people in that “I’m-trapped-why-won’t-anyone-listen-to-me-aaaaaaaahhhh!!!!” way that I hate – but who cares!

I got the third Powder Mage book, but I felt like I needed to finish this one first. Why? Well, I think for the same reason I spent an hour yesterday reading Hades/Persephone fan reimaginings (yes, of the actual myths) on Pinterest.

Some days just need stuff like that in them.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy #1

July 18, 2019 – July 19, 2019

Blaaaaa (I start a lot of my reviews this way – maybe it is the natural sound my brain makes when I finish reading a book? Like a mental gasp as it comes up for air?)

Yup. Still one of the best books ever written. Over the last few days I’ve used the phrase “I’m reading Hitch-hicker right now” eight times and everyone knew what I was talking about. When a book gets to that point you know that something good is going on – kind of like how you know if a book is important to civilization (cough1984cough) if it is banned in oppressive countries, only this is more fun!

Lots of feelings with this book. It’s unfortunately tied to an old boyfriend who loved it and honestly didn’t deserve to have it in his life other than letting him know what happens at 31 seconds just in case of, you know, a situation where it might arise. FORTUNATELY my parents called dibs eons before when they found out that Douglas Adams was a bigger fan of them than anyone would ever be of him – and that is the light of happiness that has a true place in my heart as far who this book makes me think of.

But isn’t that kind of the bummer thing about books? I mean, it is also awesome because none of us lives (or reads) in a vacuum (hahahahaha) – but at the same time that isn’t really true is it? Because when I read no one else really DOES exist (unless it is Alcatraz or Disc World and I have to tell Amit something witty the author just said). It’s just the characters and the words and me… and all the things that tie this book to other people don’t just become non-important, they just plan don’t exist. Maybe that’s another reason I have trouble with audiobooks – it’s like someone sitting in the back of the car on my date, when it was SUPPOSED to be just me and Arthur.

So honestly I love this book because it is a great book that makes me smile, not because it is world renowned or loved by everyone who means anything to me and even some people who need to experience first hand the 31st second – I love it just because it won my heart. I love his mastery of descriptions (ex: “the ships hung in the air in much the same way that bricks don’t.”) the quirky dialogue, and the ridiculous honesty of how someone would actually react to their planet being destroyed and then taken around the galaxy (not to mention the creepily way the Earth was destroyed in reference to Arthur’s house – which is one of my favorite parts of fiction anywhere). And as for the actual Guide, I could just go back a reread the entries for fun because I can hardly think of anything else that points out better how crazy life really is.

I’m going to put this one up for book club too. Maybe that’s what my place is – sometimes it’s to bring up great discussion books like Big Magic or Lost Stars (yes I know they aren’t 1984 – Deal!) – sometimes it’s to remind everyone that it’s just as important to read books that make you smile and just blab about what was in that book that made your day. 🙂

The Ladies Auxiliary by Tova Mirvis

August 23, 2019 – August 28, 2019

I learned my lesson with Crimson Campaign that if I wanted to write a response that felt real I needed to write it right after I finished the book. So even though I have a head ache from a treatment I’m going through, I’m going to blab.

I gave this book three stars, which means that I wouldn’t go out of my way to recommend it, but that I would tell you that it was a good book.

I feel like that was a very accurate view of my feelings. I also kept evaluating what star rating I would give it, and my thoughts are if I’m thinking that while reading than I’m not involved enough.

Not saying that there weren’t parts that grabbed every part of me hostage. Whenever the women, especially Mrs. Levy would start rumors and things, I would feel sick and angry and LONG for a confrontation, so that when it finally came with Batsheva I felt this huge amount of relief. Then at the very end with Mini reminded them all about Ruth, and how an outsider ended up blessing all of Israel.

There was a lot of things I DID like about this book. I loved the descriptions of the holidays and culture, it made me want to do more to make my own holidays holier and special – especially Easter.

We don’t do anything crazily special for Easter service even though Christ and the sacrifice He made for us is central to all that we believe, but the lack of festivities has rolled over. Last year I made lamb, and I want to be more crazy with making it special with more food for a feast and decorations and inviting people over.

Then there is Thanksgiving, which is already pretty feast like, but I want to do more to celebrate the meaning behind the holiday. Then there is just the sabbath day every week. To truly make it a day of rest, of having food be special but prepared the day before. And in these things not just do them for the sake of doing them, but to grow closer to God by making the events He has given us mean more, not just the holidays but the things that happened that the holidays celebrate and why those things happened in the first place.

I particularly resonated with Batsheva bonding with the high school girls. All my adult life I have felt more comfortable with women who are younger than me with a few exceptions, and my dream calling in my church would be to work with the young women in middle and high school. Growing up I was the only high schooler at church with these little middle schoolers that I loved and became the older sister to. And now, sitting out in the foyer with my one year old, I have that opportunity again to talk to the high schoolers who hangout there during the service. I have a theory that everyone has an age that are truly in their hearts, and I’m pretty sure that mine is seventeen.

Even so, the need for self-reflection resonated with me as well, because you can’t really truly live something unless you choose it, and you can’t really choose it if you don’t understand why you are, which requires you to see what your options are and really think. I am a mother now and understand the heart wrenching fear of my children not finding the truth I have, but I taught my son this morning as I prepare him for baptism that the most sacred thing ever given to us is the ability to choose for ourselves.

Ok now for something more Marinda like. I was COMPLETELY torn about my feelings about Batsheva and Yosef’s relationship! At one point I was like “no, she couldn’t be that much older…” but then she was over ten years older! Then I though “in the grand scheme of adulthood, it still would be fine, but maybe with him being not a college age kid!” But they fit sooo freaking well together, and there was that one scene with the snow , so I held my breath, but was honestly glad when they didn’t end up together and you find out that something wasn’t actually happening between them behind the scenes. I still want them to end up together- you know, in the future sequels that will only be published in my imagination.

Yeah, that was A LOT of deep reflection, so obviously I got something out of this book, and hey, maybe you will to, but only if you can stomach kind of cliche “small community rejecting new different girl” situations. 😛

Promise of Blood by Brian McClellan, Powder Mage #1

August 6, 2019 – August 13, 2019

That was awesome! I could tell because when we went camping I regretted that I would have to wait a few days before I could get back to reading it. Don’t get me wrong, at first I thought the beginning read like something a little amateurish and only kept going because Amit recommended it to me and he is almost never wrong, but it quickly shifted to being so well written that I’m debating whether it was as complicated and, well, awesome (I know, I need a better word, but it’s late while I’m writing this) as Stormlight Archives (I know! Heresy!) with what felt like a zillion characters that danced around each other to the timing of the plot so perfectly that I was able to guess which character’s perspective was going to come up next just from feel.

I’m really annoyed that the library system is taking more than 24 hours to get me the next book, because while I was reading Paper Magician I was reminded of how much I love paper (hahahaha). I even stopped myself a few times just to feel what it was like to step out of the reading trance that reading a solid book always enhances for me. Not to mention the break my thumb muscles got!

I want to know what comes next. In the beginning you see this supposedly huge conflict and problem, but you just know from the pattern of trilogies that the first book’s point is to take the smaller problem and show that it is the linch pin to the giant problem that the first book is supposed to introduce, so I kept looking for it and watched the plot in that perspective. Honestly it enhanced the story for me.

Ok now for the characters. Unlike Vim in Disc World, I loved reading about Tamas, the grisly old guy that everything spins around, though Taniel grabbed my interest with anticipation for when I got to read his perspective again because, well, young hot guy. Need I say more? Ok he was also an awesome character in his own right. And his obvious thing with Ka-poil, not that I really thought that anything would actually happen in this book because she was a bazillion times younger than him, but I thought that maybe the later books would happen enough in the future that it would then not be illegal. But then you find out that she’s only three years younger than him and I was like “oh yeah, this is on!” Which of course it was with that one scene before they go check out the tunnel and then when she kisses him at then very end. I don’t care what Amit says, she grabbed him by the BACK OF THE NECK! There is only one reason why you control the movement of the head when you pull someone to you.

The one thing that annoyed me was that about 3/4 of the way through the book I was hit with how the author treated women in this book. There was only one female perspective that we barely saw compared to the others, and even though women were seen as equals to men in fighting and everything else, they were constantly talked of in terms of sex. (By the way, I totally called it that the boy wasn’t killed and that Nelli would end up with him again in the end.)

I should also mention Adment. He was hands down my favorite character, no matter how much I loved Taniel. I think I looked forward to his sections the most. The mystery was fun, but there was just something about his character that I just couldn’t get enough of watching.

I trusted Amit when he recommended this book because he never does until he has read them all, because if it ends badly he’s the one who had to deal with me being a crying mess. I can’t wait for the next one to get here!

Also, FYI my son mentioned tonight when I was checking in on him in bed and telling him how my book was about how people used magic with guns that he said kind of wistfully “I’ve never seen a real weapon in my whole life!” I then pretended to brain him with this book, because it’s so huge that it could be used as a murder weapon!

Reached by Ally Condie, Matched #3

January 24, 2019 – January 26, 2019

This book was … hard to finish.

First and not nearly as important as the other reasons, it was really slow in the beginning, ok really through the first 2/3s of the book. The other books felt like they were centered around the characters with all the societal junk kind of being the stage they were plunked on. This one read more like a thought experiment that was using the characters as a channel.

Ok, now for the other reasons.

There were, wait for it, 3.5 interconnecting love triangles in this book! At one point I thought for a second that Ky and Xander were going to run off with their new girls and leave Cassia all alone! I know most people don’t care about this sort of thing, but I do! And it was making me sick, like physically ill. I had no idea if it was going to turn out ok or if I was running toward the edge of a cliff that was going to leave me emotionally messed up for the next week. I finally called a friend who had already read the book to assure me that Cassia and Ky did end up together.

Reading is bad for my health.

Ok, second reason why I had a hard time reading it and felt sick while doing so. Ky and Indie. I felt cold and numb when she kissed him and he realized that he could have been happy with her if he had met her before he had met Cassia. Then I thought “wow Marinda, you’re such a hypocrite. You think love triangles with a girl in the center is ok, but if a guy is torn than he’s a cheating jerkface?!”

*Insert one VERY long journal entry trying to figure out my issues.*

And I think it comes down to this. The whole entire point of this series is that there is nothing more sacred than the privilege and responsibility to choose. There is no “destiny” where you fall toward each other like polar opposite magnets – there is only what you feel and then what you do about it.

How many times did Cassia say that she could have been happy with Xander, but in the end she chose Ky, and there she let her feelings grow. And that was the point of Indie. Ky needed to have a choice as well. He needed to have the opportunity to choose Cassia, like she chose him. Yeah, Indie was a jerk friend for kissing her friend’s boyfriend and I have feelings about that, but that wasn’t the main point.The main point was that nothing just happens – it is chosen.

You don’t find your soulmate. You choose your soulmate.

*sigh* That’s what made this book hard. It went from teenage obsession, which is easy to eat like cotton candy, to something real and complicated and more mature than most grown adults will ever fully grasp.

Crossed by Ally Condie, Matched #2

January 23, 2019 – January 24, 2019

My son was sick last night, so I got loooooots of time to read. I usually don’t burn through a book in 24 hours, but it wasn’t just something to help be get through a long night, I am also reeeeeally liking this series.

I was wondering this during book one, but now I’m ready to commit. I like these books better than The Giver. In fact, I would be fine with having these books be read in school to teach dystopian literature.

Ok, enough if that. I don’t think this is a spoiler because it’s on page ONE of the book, but I totally squealed when I saw that it was from Ky’s perspective.

I also think she did a great job of dealing with the mandatory second book relationship “things are falling apart with all sorts of emotions and misunderstandings and are the going to make it!?!?” That’s always really hard to do, to make it seem natural and not a plot device. That they would still have questions and doubts and fears even after all they had been through for each other.

I loved the scene when he sees her. It was beautiful and perfect and I’m sooooooo glad she didn’t drop dead in his arms like SOME books I know.

Finally, I love how it ends with her on fire, just like the end of the first book. You can start a bonfire from the determination in her words, that feel that even if she got shot in the head five seconds afterwards because “that’s how real life works” that it wouldn’t matter. It’s something that makes you feel like life isn’t futile. That it’s worth living, worth fighting, worth loving.

Because in reality that is all there is.