August 23, 2019 – October 8, 2019
Ug, I was tired and I had this weird headache just in the right front part of my head, but I couldn’t sleep and had to get a bowl of raisin bran and start reading book 2 – then my headache magically got a little better and my computer was looking at me and somehow I ended up here. Not quite 2am, but it is 12:21am which is quite annoying. At least I’ll have a decent time to tell my Mom tomorrow – every day we seem to have a competition of complaining of who was awake at what ridiculous time of the night.
Ok, this book bugged me at first. The timeline in the beginning of the master old guy thief (I could look up his name, but my headache is making a convincing argument that that would take too much work) was telling Chains about how Locke was weird and kept annoyingly mysteriously hinting at how badly Locke screwed up and that’s why he had to get rid of him. Ok, I actually really loved the part where he said that he had to get rid of him or else he had to kill him – how the author hit that point was awesome to me and was the hook that made me want more.
By the way, yay for names that are easy to remember and say! Like Chains! Case in point, I kept calling Valora Vulva (don’t judge! I forgot what that word meant!) all the way to halfway through the second of the Powder Mage trilogy books until I was talking to my husband about it and he – quite shocked and annoyed and amused – pointed out that the character names in this book were probably not named after body parts. I then said “Oh, yeah, that makes sense now – Valora is a much prettier name for a hott girl in a fantasy book.” *forehead smack*
Going back to my profound and very important feelings about this book, I was super interested in this weird boy who was now part of this weird cult like gang, so I kind of freaked out and yelled at my husband (who of course recommended these booked to me) expressing how upset I was when we then jumped to him being all old and adult and such! I was looking forward to watching him growing up and learning how to be a thief super hero con-artist and we missed all of it! I especially wanted to see him as a teenager, because those years are always quite fun. I felt much better later in the book once the flashbacks started.
Then I got kind of board during the con parts. It went too smoothly and everything seemed so fine. Like rolling eyes “here’s an Ocean’s Eleven copy cat book.”
Then things hit the fan. Like, hit it HARD.
(My husband says that I write sometimes like a teenager – oh well 😛 )
Things were getting super weird and complicated, and those torture scenes were something I had never considered before. Glass? Yeah – for some reason I was fascinated and it opened my mind to all sorts of new and exciting possibilities for my own books – which of course makes me a very disturbing person.
But like I said – oh well.
I hated the Bondsmage instantly. Maybe it was because of the bird. Maybe because of how helpless he made me feel. Maybe because of the same realization Locke had of how much money had been dumped down a hole just to have him around messing with people. I don’t know – and really it doesn’t matter. This isn’t a high school essay where you have to explain your feelings – I just need to shout it to the world and glare at him just like Locke did.
And then writhe on the floor like Locke did and instead of glaring I am now overcome with agony and pathetic pleading and supplication until I have no hate left but only a crushed spirit.
But then Locke was faking it all along! I have no idea if I should have said “but then Locke was faking it all along?” instead, because the author wrote that he was in pain! But then at the end you see that jerk bird guy never had any power over him at all?! I LOVED IT! I LOVED LOCKE! I COULD HAVE – never mind. I’m married and not actually a teenage girl. 😛 😛
For those of you who don’t know what “:P” means you’re either too old or too young – like having no idea who Captain Planet is too young. I am part of the pure generation that is the only one that matters. 😛
Anyway, back to the book and my feelings, I was understandably confused and grossed out beyond words when he got stuck in the horse piss (horse pee just sounded too proper for what happened) – but nothing could have possibly prepared me for when they found the twins dead. I was shocked and couldn’t believe it at first. It was one of those times when you accidentally skip a couple lines down (or in this case to the top of the next page) and knew what the words were going to be but your mind just couldn’t process them. You stare at them, you keep reading for an explanation of how it wasn’t actually true, how you were mistaken and you were just too stupid to get what the author was actually saying.
But then as you read all it does is solidify this horrid truth that you just can’t swallow. If I can’t handle this, how will I handle it when one of my close friends or family die? When you know that they are no longer going to be characters in the rest of the book? And you are barely halfway though! How could you possibly live with them now gone…
Then Bug dies.
And all I could think about was how he started their cheer at the last moment they were all together.
I’m numb by this point. When I freaked out to my husband about this he said he thought the author made a mistake by killing them off. But I have to say as I kept reading it made more sense until by the end I was ok with them gone. But I still thought while I read “could there had been an equal motivator for Locke and Jean to have a burning hate and determination to destroy the Gray King?!” I wanted there to be one, but the more I thought about it the clearer it became that there wasn’t.
Anyway, Locke and Jean started to kick butt. The scene where Jean killed those “wicked sisters” was one of the coolest things that has ever happened to me! While I read it I knew that he was going to win, but I had a smile on my face the whole time I ate up the scene. Sometimes life is like that – you don’t need some sort of shockingly novel experience in your life. You can totally love beyond teenage emoji level scenes in your life that you know how the ending is going to be, but still make you smile the whole time you’re living them.
Then things kind of continued to spiraled in a predictable path from there with Locke going up to the tower and getting caught and him escaping in an emoji level freakish way that both horrified me and made me freaking love him at the same time, not so much because of what he did (though that was pretty sweet) but because of the wonderful inner monologue and reaction he had to his own insanity! Realizations of personal insanity will always win my heart!
Then the torture of the Bondsmage… I felt bad for him during it, but then they reminded me of how he deserved everything he got. I think it’s because I’ve been brainwashed to trust in the system of justice of my society that I can’t see that sometimes cutting off fingers in a society that believes in torture anyways is a completely normal and acceptable way to deal with mass murderers. Once I realized this, my inner psychopath came out and I enjoyed it as much as Locke and Jean.
Man I’m messed up when I read. I’m not like this in real life I promise!
Anyway, I had completely forgotten about the messed up drug thing that made people “gentled” (once again – I could look up the name, but I don’t feel like it) and I applauded the author for planting a HUGE plot point earlier in the book then brought it back to punch you in the face. It’s always a black eye I can smile through.
Then things kept going how you would expect them with Locke saving the day and his duel with the Gray King at the end where he skewers him (once again, it was so awesome to watch happen because even though I could guess plot wise what was going to happen, it was fun because it was Locke who was doing everything). The only part that had me stumped was why in the world Locke had them sink the boat that had all their money on it. I thought that he would give it back, but instead he dumped it to the bottom of the sea!
Then old lady figured out the death offering, and it all tied back to the beginning of the book. I felt like crying, when I was reminded of Locke’s requirement to pay for the other children he got killed, and now he’s doing his final mourning for his brothers.
Ii make me loved Locke even more for it.
And that locked (hahahhahahaha) me into reading the next book.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I was going to. I mean, they said the f-word about as much as the people I hung out with in high school (do people really say it that often as adults? The people I hang out with will say some of the other lesser swear words on occasion, but do other groups out there drop f-bombs as often as Locke?). Every time I read it it was like the author was pinching me in the arm, until about halfway though when my brain just sort of skipped over them and just registered “Locke is extremely ticked off” instead. Obviously since I just told you I was going to read the next one, I decided in the end that the fun plot and awesome protagonist outweighed the bruise on my arm.
Funny side note, I was talking to a friend and found out that she had read this book too. One of the first things she mentioned was the language, which was understandable since she is one of my friends who doesn’t swear. Then I remembered that she listens to all of her books. Yeah, hearing it dropped would be more of a punch in the face then just hearing it in your head. Though now that I think of it listening to books has another advantage because you wouldn’t accidentally read ahead to the top of the next page and find out awful things.
So this book ended up fun fun fun and I love Locke too much for the psychopath that he is, and am now going to jump into the next book. Maybe. It is now 1:18am and my eye balls are actually complaining at me. So I’m going to edit this tomorrow. There are a million spelling mistakes for words that I actually know how to spell – my fingers are a little sleep deprived drunk.
Good night world!
*thunk*
Update:
I almost forgot to say something super important! You know those critics out there who think that I only like books for the romance stuff (you know who you are)? Well, this one had NO romance on screen and I still loved it! HA!
Reading Responses at 2am - SPOILER ALERT! 