Blog Feed – Page 21 – Reading Responses at 2am

Life, the Universe, and Everything by Douglas Adams, #3 Hitchhicker’s Guide to the Galaxy

January 3, 2020 – February 4, 2020

I blabbed a lot the last two books about my amazing connection to Douglas Adams, but my very first introduction to these books was from my older brother reading me sections from this book.

You see, he thought these book’s randomness was hilarious – which it is – and I have a very clear memory of him reading me sections while we were hanging out in our living room with all the corresponding silliness. The one I remember the most was the past with the orange couch randomly showing up in the field. I had no context, which honestly only adds a little but of “oh yeah, that makes sense” to them chasing down a couch.

It made me laugh then, and it makes me laugh now. ❤️

The Calculation Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal, #1 Lady Astronaut

January 16, 2020 – January 24, 2020

I can’t even begin to tell you what this book meant, means, to me – and how mad at myself that it sat next to my bed for how long before I brought it into my life. If I could give it six stars I would.

A bit of background – I was going to be a scientist, a physicist, and I was going into space. My Dad took me to a lecture from a Ph.D grad student who helped develop the Doppler method of discovering exoplanets and then to lectures at SLAC up at Stanford. I went to the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum with my Dad on a trip once and he waited patiently while I read through ever – single – word – from – every – signal – exhibit. I chose French over the much more practical Spanish because CERN was in Geneva. I flat out told my sophomore teacher that I needed to learn EVERYTHING she was teaching us about colonies because I was going to be a part of developing and settling the first civilian space station. I went to the Girl Scout dinner where they hosted people who worked at NASA. I had posters up on my bedroom walls from NASA including one of the moon with all the lunar landing sites marked. You know that one picture from the Apollo 8 mission of the surface of the moon with the Earth in the sky? I put it in a frame next to my bed and called it my bedroom window – because someday I was going to wake up, turn over, and that was what I was going to see. The summer after I graduated I applied for an internship to work at the NASA station near Silicon Valley where I lived (i didn’t get it and am still convinced it was because the lady with the mustache was ticked off that I didn’t know how old the Earth was 😡).

I would lay on my dad’s car at night and look up at the stars, and feel myself falling into the sky and the depth of all that wasn’t there, then reach my hand up as if I could reach them.

My first semester in college our English class’s first assignment was to write your memoir and mine went something like this: I got my double majors in physics and electrical engineering and a minor in music, my Ph.d in particle astrophysics, worked at NASA until I got board and started working at CERN, met my husband there and started a family, still working a quarter time because my team wanted to keep me involved because I was so brilliant. Once the kids were gone I went back to full time. Eventually we had exhausted what we could do with an accelerator on Earth and begin construction on the space station, where my husband and I are assigned as head scientist, flying our children and grandchildren up to visit. When we retire we stay up there, and in the observation room, on a bench holding hands, we watch the sunrise over the Earth and peacefully pass from this life into the next.

And I 100% believed that was my future.

Well, obviously life dropped a bombshell on me and that plan didn’t turn out.

I’m still happy with my life, and I’ve done some amazing things before I left college that I’ll always have with me. I worked in a planetary science lab in the geology department where I was assigned to program a filter for the topographic data from the first flyby of the Mercury Messenger mission – and I was the first person on Earth to see what the surface of Mercury actually looked like.

No one can ever take that away from me.

But right now, that is the end of my story.

And I spent YEARS morning my lost future.

Like I said, I found new purpose in teaching and novel writing, wife and motherhood, supporting and loving my friends, and helping girls grow through Girl Scouts.

Hiding from anything on the NASA, I lived and loved my life.

Then the 50th anniversary of the moon landing came around, and I sobbed every time I watched the Artemis program announcement promotional video, then spent the full three hours watching the entire moon landing and walk with my daughter.

And my heart burned.

Then I let it fade away, still looking for and grasping onto what I had in that moment.

Then this book was picked for book club.

And I devoured it.

Everything about it brought everything about who I was and who I still am and had forced myself to forget back to my heart, and where I thought it would hurt I only found joy. I rode her journey with her, absorbing each moment and dream of her own, knowing that she was going to make it to the moon, and if she didn’t and the book ended badly I vowed I would BURN it and just pay the fee back to the library.

But then it didn’t, and I rode that last, beautiful, perfect, nearly sacred last chapter with her, knowing that if I had ever made it I would have been thinking and feeling the same things.

How she describes seeing space, and the true vastness of it, how there was no color that could capture what she saw because there was no color – it was what I had felt falling into the sky all those years ago on the hood of my dad’s car.

Then that last line, connecting end to the first line, and I feel in love all over again.

And in this moment, writing this, closing it and knowing I will read it again, and again, and again who knows how many times, I still feel that joy.

In ten minutes, and hour, in the morning, in a day or a week or a month or who knows how many years, I will have to mourn my lost dreams again, but I know I won’t regret bringing this book into my soul.

I have so many things I could actually talk about now about the actual book, like the angry at the helplessness of being a women back then, then my fury at the scene where they had to go out and do their training in nothing but a bikini.

And then my complete and utter melting at her husband and his enteral and complete belief in her. Wad I bothered that he seemed too perfect? NO! I loved it. I know this sounds dumb, but it didn’t feel fake at all to me – he was her best friend, and he acted like it all the way.

Yes I giggled at their special “rocket” scenes. 😜

I’m recommending this book to EVERYONE, nearly falling on my knees tonight at a girls night for one of my friends to just read it.

I can’t wait to spill my devotion next week at book club, and let the haters just wash over me in my love.

I’m so sappy, and I don’t care!

Starsight by Brandon Sanderson, #2 Skyward

January 7, 2020 – January 14, 2020

I needed to wait until I was ready. I’ve mentioned before that I have a horrid fear of sequels, and the fact that I still had to wait until I could take a deep enough breath for a book from an author who earned my trust eons ago just shows how deep my issues are. Or maybe it is just that it is a book two. You gotta be in a good place to bust open a book two.

I loved Skyward and wanted to reread it before jumping into this one, you know, to make sure I remember everything…. ha. I remember more from the books I read than I do from my own life. The crazy thing is that it wasn’t just because I wanted to reread an awesome book, but because I was using that as an excuse to put off starting this book.

Then about a week ago I looked at it next to my bed, and I felt the stars sing to me, and knew that the time was right.

Ok all that drama aside, this book is great! I love the characters and the new ones that got introduced, especially Morriumur! That moment when he takes her to the water garden and she realizes that they really are just like normal people was important for her, but just as equally important was when she realized that though the everyday people weren’t the ones to blame, the government was still an evil to fight against.

I hated what happened with Brade, the other human. She was so brainwashed it was terrible, but I thought along with Spensa that her connection to her race would shine through. I don’t know why I thought that considering the massive amount of emotional conditioning that I can see all around me, let alone a concentrated effort to shape my mind.

It still surprised me though.

The ending was exactly what I thought would happen except in all the ways I wasn’t expecting. I knew that there would be a final battle at her home world, and that her old friends would somehow join her, but I wasn’t expecting a Delver to actually show up, or how she would get inside. That moment when we realized that his two brains in his head was actually the secret weapon they needed was one of those moments in reading that makes me happy I’m literate.

I thought along with her that she was going to bust out of there on M-bot – I was not expecting her to dimension jump. I’m excited to see what happens next!

Oh, and their kiss made me happy, and all of Jerkface’s profound insights, and amazingness. Super fun time! 😜

Skyward by Brandon Sanderson, #1 Skyward

January 12, 2019 – January 16, 2019

Ohhhhh my gosh, he wrote a sci fi! I did not see that coming, I thought “Skyward” was going to be about, I don’t know, something magical? Like every other fancy book ever? Nope! And it was awesome!

I was having some trouble in the beginning during the mandatory “this is why my life sucks” part, just because I’m not handling anxiety well right now, and I needed to put it to the side for a few days. Then I realized “huh, it probably can’t get any worse, can it?” It turned out that where I had stopped was the turning point, so I’m glad I kept reading.

Back to the review-y part, not only does this book have awesome flight/fight sequences where you feel like you’re there but as usual, he hits the character development on the nail along with making them fun/interesting. On top of all that, he also makes some pretty good high-school-essay-worth topics such as “honor” and “cowardice” and such like that – just to round it out.

Finally, the big one for me to show that I was actually really enjoying it was when I realized that I wasn’t feeling insignificant because my own writing is so far below his. I was literally just having fun – that’s how absorbing it was for me to read.

It was also fun when half-way through I noticed that “scud” was the f-word. 😛

As a last note: HOW MANY SERIES IS SANDERSON WRITING!?!?! And when does the next one come out?!?!

Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman

December 26, 2019 – January 3, 2020

Oh where do I even begin!

First, I would like the world at large to be impressed that about two-thirds of the way through I finally was able to hit the asterisk in the reference in the ebook and get back to my spot instead of turning to the previous reference and have to go back and forth trying to hit it just right! Another advantage of reading words on actual paper.

Moving forward…

Wow. Only a few weeks ago I taught Revelations 1-11 in about 45 minutes to a bunch of teenagers 12-18 at church. I had to skip a lot, but how I handled chapters 4-11, I had drawn (very very poorly) the different “characters” and things that the end of the world would have, then cut them up and handed them out, then read out loud parts (with FEELING) of the scriptures that mentioned said characters and when I said a certain thing that kid would come up and taped it to the board, like story time in elementary school! Because those chapters are really hard to keep straight!

This book did pretty much the same thing, but funner! I found the language a lot like the Disc World books, which was to be expected, and at first was annoyed that it kept giving sidetrack snippets of what was going on in random people’s lives until I suddenly loved it!

You see, my mom had been trying to get me to read this book for aaaggggeeessss (do you sense a theme in my life, or at least in my reading patterns?) and advertised it to me as a book about an angel and a demon who decide to stop Armageddon, but then it was all over the place when I just wanted a straight-up story, but then realized that it was better this way.

And the end was perfect. I had heard the “if I help them then they would never leave me alone” speech before, but what he said about whales really stopped me in my tracks.

Giving something back wouldn’t actually make things better, because people will just mess it up again. The only way things will get better is if people decide to make things better.

Ok, now for the big one.

When I usually write these things and my reading time is unusual (either one day or over a super long time like this one), I spew a whole thing at the beginning about why it happened. But this time I knew I had to put it at the end because I knew that once I started ranting I wouldn’t be able to stop.

If you haven’t seen Star Wars IX: The Rise of Skywalker STOP NOW!!! Because I’m about to go crazy with spoilers.
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There? Is that enough spaces that people will quickly close their browser window before seeing anything?

I had seen this movie for the second time the day before I started this book, and at night when I usually read (remember the name of this blog?), I couldn’t really get into it. You see, instead before going to sleep I would spend a goodly amount of time pining Star Wars stuff because I needed it like a broken ankle needs pain meds.

Because Ben wasn’t supposed to die.

When I first saw it I was ok with it, telling myself that he didn’t really have a future because there was no way the resistance would let him live free after the atrocities he commuted under the influence of the Darkside.

But then I would remember the ending when he was Light, when he looked at Rey through their bond before getting the lightsaber with such clarity in his eyes, like he was free and finally the man he always meant to be. The way she gave him the lightsaber was one of the coolest things I had ever seen, then when he shrugged and then smacked those soldiers around like nothing, I loved it so much. All the memes I had seen had gone off about hott he was, but I wasn’t attracted to him at all. I think it had a lot to do with the voice, and maybe because when he first talks to her when he was interrogating her but was hitting on her instead gave me the blaaas because at the time I thought they were cousins.

Then this scene happened, and yeah, Lightside Ben was very attractive all a sudden.

Then there was the part when he and Rey both go into there “ready to go” stance and you can just SEE how they were now in sync and one and the amazingness they would do together!

Then he DIED!!!!!!!!

After the second time, I decided that the “he redeemed himself by giving his life for her’s and he was now Light and faded because that was a Lightside thing just fell FLAT to me! It felt like the wrong ending, no matter what he did before because he would do ten times the good as the bad he did! Just think about it! What an amazing teacher he would be when he and Rey start teaching the next generation of Jedi because he could tell them what falling to the Darkside was like, how it gave you power but you would live every day for the rest of your life as a slave and in agony.

Then there is the future for him and Rey. All they had been through, how they had reached for each other, and now they were one. The way he smiled at her after she kissed him was one of the most precious smiles of pure joy I have ever seen (yes I know these are fake characters potrayed by actors!!! And as anothe side note my thumbs are cramping up – oh look! It’s 1:21! I’ll actually get to live up to my blog name!).

Then he dies.

And you walk out of that theater with the lesson that you can redeem yourself, but you don’t get a future.

That thought destroyed me.

And that’s when I realized that why him dying didn’t feel right.

Because this was Star Wars, and Ben was the joint protagonists with Rey, and the protagonist wins in the end. Star Wars is a beacon that good can conquer evil, that you will find the power inside you to fight and win the day – win the celebration scenes at the end and party with Ewokes with fireworks in the sky.

You can argue that this ending WAS a happy ending, but that happy ending is supposed to be that way for the protagonist! ALL OF THEM! What about Darth Vader you say? Darth Vader wasn’t a protagonist, he was a sub-character who’s role was to feed Luke’s story, so it was ok that he died in his redemption. He wasn’t Luke!!!!!!

But Ben and Rey where.

And if they didn’t walk away then what does that mean for me?

So I would not read this book and would instead feed my Star Wars needs (especially focusing on Reylo and conflicted Ben fan art, either how they were reaching for each other or their happy ending).

Then a miracle happened.

Right when I was about to give in, I found a pin that was a snippet of an article by someone who had seen an advanced screening and this ending was not the one he saw. He saw an ending where Ben lives, and the two of them go to Naboo, where all this started. He had no idea why they changed it, but probably for those cynics who don’t understand what Star Wars is for and wanted an ending that was “real” and “inspirational.” *cue vomit*

With this knowledge, my fire of fury was rekindled. No wonder there was no footage of Rey’s reaction to her soulmate dying – because they didn’t film any! They had cut short the original scene!

I know there is nothing I can do to change anything, but I can know that the truth is that Ben lives, and the Skywalker line received the reward it deserved for all they went through to bring balance to the Force.

How could I read a half-interesting book when I had all this pouring through my soul?

Oh my poor thumbs. I’m going to reread all this and edit it tomorrow.

Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde, #1 Shades of Grey

December 7, 2019 – December 12, 2019

I can’t believe that this was a Jasper Fforde book. It was a straight up YA dystopian with no absurdness at all, along with a society that followed lines and patterns and fit together… if I had read this book and asked the author I would not have thought it was him.

Ok, it was good. Really good. But I feel like I need to go read Howl’s Moving Castle. It ended soooo sucky! It started when he slept with Violet. I was so disgusted I felt like I didn’t want to keep reading. I really couldn’t believe he did that! Can a girl really be so bossy that she can get a guy to sleep with her even though he doesn’t want to?

I felt better when I found out it was a trick, horrified again what I found out his dad was in on it, and then ok then he was going to marry Jane.

Then it all fell apart again. I would be ok with him marrying Violet as long as they didn’t sleep together again. As long as there is hope that they will end up together….

This society is so messed up, but the argument they made for how to keep a society stable was actually pretty sound. It doesn’t matter who’s best at a job as long and someone is doing it. Innovation creates instability. I kept trying to figure out where this society fit into the time line. All his other books are in alternate history timelines to us, but this felt like it really could be just an “in the future” book.

The spoons, the mildew, the Rebooting… I felt so sick when he sent those two people to their deaths. To make that decision. It so ugly, so horrible. Does Eddie and Jane really think they have a chance to change things?

I don’t know. Will this be a tragedy? His other books haven’t, but then this book is nothing like his other ones.

I feel so miserable. At least now I get to read Starsight!

Ugggg……….. I hate them all so much. And I hate the “ok everything is working out” a chapter from the end and then bam! Someone is turned into a tree! It’s not as bad as that, but I still hate it.

There is no sign of a sequel. So I’m going to take this book and put it on a shelf somewhere and forget that he was dumb enough to sleep with a girl just because she’s there and tells him to.

The Forth Bear by Jasper Fforde, #2 Nursery Crime

December 2, 2019 – December 6, 2019

I really hope he writes more of these. I think this one was even better than the last one.

As a side note, you should read these after you read the Thursday Next books. I forgot to mention that in the review for the first book. There are some references that you’ll get and appreciate better that way.

I had completely forgotten about the Jack Sprat rhyme until they said it, and then things all made sense. I felt overwhelmingly angry about the Agnis thing, but was happy and thought Punch and Judy were really cute. I would like to think that in the same situation I would trust my husband more, but then the night before he had kind of shattered her trust, so maybe I should give her some slack.

I loved Ashley and Mary’s date. A LOT. There is almost nothing I would love more than to go for a spin around the Earth. I hope in the later books that they end up together. I don’t care if they can’t actually have a physical relationship, I’m sure they can figure out something.

So what does it mean to be crazy? To believe in things that shouldn’t be possible? To trust your gut and run with it? To marry someone who could be killed at their job every single day? To work with a minority most of the world doesn’t care about?

Or to just plan not like eating fat.

The Republic of Thieves by Scott Lynch, #3 Gentleman Bastards

October 25, 2019 – November 5, 2019

Well! Too bad this is the last book he’s going to write and didn’t set it up for more later at all! 😜

I was reading this one a few nights ago and I told Amit that I was really enjoying them. I really was! I don’t know why I was surprised. Maybe because Amit had told me the first was the best and the other two were just ok (I disagree, first was the best but these two were fun too!) Maybe because the artful and creative use of a single word for half the page would have seared my mind from the back of my eyes at other periods of my life from this much exposure.

I don’t care. I like these books. I’ll have to be careful about who I recommend them to, the language really is mind bleeding a lot of the time. I’ll go on in a bit probably about why I like these/this book so much, but it really just is because of the age old logic of “just because!”

Ok, playing with political games is always fun, and what made it even more fun was how all real politics wasn’t involved at all! Watching their moves and counter moves was very fun, which of course led to….

Sabetha!!!! Watching her and Locke play off each other and get to know each other again was very fun and cute and filled in holes that were in the first two books that you didn’t even realize were there. Not plot holes, just part of their characters and lives and such.

As soon as he started telling the back stories with Sabetha now as a part of them it was like a smack in the head. How could we have gotten so far without her there!! Without us knowing anything about her!!! It seems insane and yet flipping back through the pages you really do not see her before this book!

I understand now how she could have left. How she could have felt stifled next to Locke, and how he might not have been mature enough to know how to share power in a structure that had only one leader. I thought she was one thing, but now I think she is actually something else that I can actually understand and even respect.

Their summer abroad was ridiculous and crazy and I enjoyed every minute of it. It definitely had an “ahhh! How are they going to get out this now?!?” feel, and I wonder how their report to Chains was like when they got home.

Ok, all that aside. SO! Locke is some sort of reincarnated super powerful rogue sorcerer guy? Ok sure! Why not?!? I mean it gives that great feeling of “this isn’t just a story about a guy in trouble or a family or society or city or even really the world in trouble! Nope, this feels more like a story of all of reality being in trouble!”

But of course he doesn’t remember his past life, though Patients did her vvvveeeerryyy best to mess over Sabetha with the whole red hair thing. But the thing is, is that Locke fell in love with her before he saw her hair – so he isn’t just latching onto her because of his past life’s suppressed memories.

The only thing that really gave me a huge amount of pause was when all this is taken in with what he saw of Bug. If he messed with necromancy in his past life, did some of that death magic-ness stick around? What’s going on?!?

Last night I told Amit again that I was really enjoying these books. He said “that’s unfortunate.” I was annoyed and thought he was judging me for reasons 1-47746 listed above, but then he said “because this is the last one he has published right now.”

*sigh*

Update:
Maybe I’m not as in love with these guys as I thought. While the thought of Bo and Nila not ending up together gives me ulcers, I was annoyed but kind of excited by Sabetha running off because of jerk lady. Maybe because I want to see how she’s brought back, because there is an understanding that her and Locke do end up together *glares at author* so I’m ok with these plot point hiccups. Maybe because them getting back together now felt premature. The only way that I can get myself upset is by thinking of all the time they are losing by not being together. 😕

The Big Over Easy by Jasper Fforde, #1 Nursery Crime

November 26, 2019 – December 2, 2019

Man that took me longer than it should have! Especially when I burned through the Jessica Strange books!

It was fun though, especially the news headlines at the beginning of each chapter. Spatt’s character was sooo fun and weirdly enough I loved his dad scenes the best, not because they would make a good sitcom, although it would have been pretty great with a titan as a lodger, but because of the contrast with his crazy life in police work.

I honestly had no idea who did it, but with each turn that was revealed it was so obvious! But I wasn’t bothered. Which means it was written well. But this isn’t a book review!

I hated how Chymnes (whatever his name was) was seen as sooo cool when you knew he was just a jerk. It’s that whole helpless thing again. I cheered inwardly when he ditched them all, because there was no way he was going to get out of that.

My favorite part was the end. The giant was killed by Jack who chopped down a beanstalk. 😊❤️

The Eye of Zoltar by Jasper Fforde, #3 The Chronicles of Kazam

November 23, 2019 – November 26, 2019

Ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok I love these books, it’s official. And this one is my favorite so far, hands down. Or Helping Hands down! Hahahahaha…!

I’m really upset about Perkins dying. I’m also ok with it in a weird way. I’m also sure (I have to be) that he’s not done yet. I mean, this is a YA series, and he’s “the guy” – she even realized that she loved him! But weirdly, when he died it felt alright. Horribly alright – but also miserable at the same time.

But this guy has won my trust, so I’m going to trust him.

I actually have major trust issues when it comes to sequels. I’ve been burned really bad a couple of times (coughAGreatAndTeribbleBeautycough) that has really messed me up. In defense of the universe, I also wasn’t particularly impressed by those books and had finished them because I wanted to finish them, so they don’t really count….

It always reminds me of when I was reading the Mystborn books, and my husband let slip while I was half way through book three (the last one of the first trilogy) that Eland and Vin don’t make it, and I cried and couldn’t keep going because what was the point to all they had done if they didn’t get to enjoy living the life they wanted for themselves? Then after about a month I realized that Brandon Sanderson had won my trust and had even made Kelsar’s death in the first one ok, so I trust that he might be able to make this ending fine too.

And he did.

Fforde is an author I love, so I’m going to trust him.

But I also really Really REALLY hope he brings back Perkins, because Jennifer deserves to have happiness.

Ok, enough of that, I loved LOVED the princess and her development was so awesome and her love of finances was both hilarious and inspiring at the same time. And Addie, need I say more? I like to think I was just as kick butt at twelve but, you know, I don’t really know how to uses a machete (fun fact, my great-grandma used to uses a machete while cutting crenels off of corn cobs – other fun fact, the first recorded death of the fight in the pacific from WW2 was from a guy who cut himself with a machete and bled to death or something).

How long until the next one comes out? Oh well, I just checked out the first book in another series he wrote about Humpty Dumpty getting murdered!